My Cookie is a Tillman!

Matthew 19:4-6  And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Today I gave Alisha's hand in marriage to Joseph Tillman, Jr. Below is the speech I gave at the reception. We tried to get video, but my phone died and didn't even save the part it did record.
The book I gave Alisha was a journal where this speech was handwritten, followed by a letter I wrote her for the occasion.

This is the text I had in my hand, but I did add some and miss some, though.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Thank you for coming today to help us celebrate as Alisha and Joe, two, became one.

Alisha has spent a lifetime listening to me talk, and talk, and talk. She might say I should have no problem giving this speech, with all my years of experience talking. But I’m not good at this, so please bear with me.

I wish to first thank everyone who has helped make this possible. Were it not for your volunteered time, donated money, and lent items we’d be eating peanuts and drinking kool-aid. I believe was the original plan!

Alisha came into my life just hours after I met her mother. I still remember that chubby little face and sweet smile. She was just 14 months old. That night I had no idea that I would be one day giving her hand in marriage.

She was the first to child call me Daddy, and I’ve been under her spell ever since. Watching her devour cookies one day, I began calling her the Cookie Monster. That nickname was soon shortened to just Cookie, My Cookie.

Watching TV together I taught her to grunt like Tim Allen, and to call Barney a loser. I’ll never forget pushing the cart in a Manhattan, Kansas Walmart as she began pointing to purple stuffed dinosaurs hanging above, saying “Woozer, woozer!” I was so proud!

Over the years I have watched her grow into a beautiful young lady, not just on the outside, but on the inside, where it counts. I remember when she was awarded the Most Christ-like Award in elementary school, in part for diverting her eyes from a film in which astronauts had removed their shirts. We taught her to do that, and it was just a small sign that something had stuck.

She gave her life to the Lord at youth camp, and later felt God’s desire for her to marry a man with a desire to serve God full-time.

I’ve seen her desire to serve others. She loves helping out with kids, whether it be in a nursery, VBS, children’s church, or Sunday School.

Being a step-parent is not easy. With her biological dad not in the picture, I wished at times we could just lie to her. I had always imagined a time, probably in her teens, when she would tell me she didn’t have to listen to me because I was not her father. She may never understand why I am so grateful that she never said those words. I actually have several written notes from her assuring me that I am her Daddy, and that she loves me.

I’m very protective of my girls, so when Tammy told me that a boy had asked for her number at Bro Logan’s church and was basically blown off by Alisha (high five!) what I expected to come out of my mouth was, “Give me his name and I’ll either find him myself, or I’ll call Bro Logan and have him set this kid straight.” But instead, what I said was, “Well, let’s find out about him…Was she interested?… Let’s get word to him that it wasn’t necessarily that she wasn’t interested. Tell him we just don’t operate that way.”

As those words escaped my lips, I was questioning my own sanity. Then I remembered an exchange with my friend David Lewis, missionary to the military in South Korea. At his youngest daughter’s wedding, I asked if he was gonna cry. He said, “It’s God’s will, why would I cry?” Well, I obviously still think that’s nuts, but I now know the peace he felt that day. I just cry anyway.

I began to see a change in Alisha. In her lifetime, I’ve seen her happy and I’ve seen her sad. But I began to see a new emotion, Love.

Joe, Son, I gave you the best thing I could give you today.

I put you through a lot. My rules were tough because I believe God takes this marriage thing a lot more serious than most of his creation does.

Your happiness was never my goal, nor was Alisha’s. My goal was that God would be pleased; not only with this union, but also with how we arrived at this point.

I know that Alisha loves you, and for that I welcome you to my family. I believe that God placed the two of you together to see great things happen. I believe you to not only be God’s will for Alisha, but I also believe you to be her perfect match.

Treat her right, love her, and lead her.

Now for the tricky part:

There are many couples here with more years in marriage, but I’m the one with the microphone. Tammy and I will celebrate 20 years of marriage this year. There have been good times, great times, sad times, bad times, phenomenal times, and horrible times. But they were all Amazing times for one reason: we enjoyed or endured those times TOGETHER.

It has been said that a successful marriage involves falling in love over and over, with the same person. I have done just that.

It also involves sacrifice. Life is no longer about Joe or Alisha. Life is now about Joe AND Alisha.

If Christ is the center of your marriage, then draw close to him and you will always be close to each other.

Join me in congratulating Mr and Mrs Joe Tillman.