White Privilege and Censorship

I just watched the co-founder of Reddit justify their apparent move to start filtering content by saying that because we (white folk) didn't have the same struggles, we deserve to experience a little pain right now. He used the analogy of breaking down muscles so that they come back stronger. 

I've shared this before, but it is once again appropriate. 

I was born in a small, Indiana town to a family that did not know God. That changed before I was a year old. The earliest memories of my dad are of him not having a job, and not having luck finding another one. I remember him working in a fruit stand, selling local produce for someone we knew. The only time I have ever ridden on a tractor was when he was helping that same man in the fields. I rode on his lap. We lived in government housing, projects. 

Eventually my Pawpaw found Daddy a job in Alabama, and we loaded up our belongings and headed south. No home, just relatives to depend on. I remember arriving in Tuscumbia at Pawpaw's house, where we lived for a while.

Over the years we lived in houses with no toilet or tub, used an outhouse, bathed in the yard in a steel tub, stood in line for cheese and peanut butter, used food stamps, spent weeks without electricity because we couldn't pay the bill, carried drinking water in old milk jugs from Mawmaw's house or running off a bluff, wore secondhand clothes, wore whatever shoes the Dollar Store sold, often relied on charity for food, spent weeks eating potatoes and bread, learned to play for hours with sticks and anything else I could find, often found our best Christmas gifts waiting on the porch after a trip to the grocery store on a Saturday evening, watching and later helping my dad keep old rust buckets running so we had transportation, and again spent various periods of time in government housing.

I was ridiculed at every school I attended, after about third grade, for the second-hand clothes, no-name shoes, and the hairstyle I wore. I spent relentless hours with school jerks making fun of my parents' old cars. A story my brother loves to tell is about how thrilled we were when a former, black coworker of my dad's showed up with a giant can of potatoes he got from his new job at a canned produce warehouse. We were just about to eat government commodity peanut butter sandwiches on bread from the day-old bread store. Instead, we had buttered potatoes.

My wife had a similar upbringing on the poor side of Kansas City, MO, with added times of foster care and violent schools. 

The reason why I am so terrible with money is because I grew up dirt poor and never had an opportunity to learn how to spend better. We are getting better, but it is a real struggle.

I say none of this to gain anyone's sympathy. I am blessed beyond measure. But when I hear these namby-pamby white punks talk about privilege, it makes want to drag them out to Spring Valley and leave them in a two room shack, sleeping on blankets piled up in the living room while rats and roaches run across the floor, and having to walk 100 yards to an outhouse just to use the bathroom.

I know there are plenty of white people who do not share my story, but I also know the majority of people I saw while mama and us kids waited for commodity cheese and food stamps were white people. That fact still holds true today. I also went to school with plenty of black kids whose parents worked at TVA or Champion paper mill, earning every week what my dad made in a month.

Poverty is an existence shared by all races. I'm sick of seeing "POC" claim they had it worse than me. I'm even sicker of seeing guilt-ridden white people try and make the case that their own upbringing is representative of mine.

I owe you nothing, regardless of your race, ethnicity, or level of "social justice" expertise.

By the Grace of God, I have earned every single "privilege" I now enjoy. I have no privilege that is not also available to every other human in America. I love every person on earth, not just because God commands it, but because I happen to have felt enough hate to not want to be the one dishing it out. You have to really earn the rarity of me disliking you. Even then, I will lump coals on your head by being as hospitable as I know how to be to you.

You will never censor the hate from people's hearts. Shutting down speech you dislike is the best way to fertilize it. They take it into hiding and when it boils over, people die. Let them spread their message where we can all see it. I learned of the racism of members of the alt-right due to their posts. I've seen nearly every friend of mine walk away from their leaders and influencers after I posted their hatred and racist associations. That's good that would not have been possible if they had been censored. They have actually since been censored. Do you know what they are up to? No, you don't. They still have their own avenues to spread their hate, but the general public cannot track them as easily.

Our founding fathers knew that the best way was for speech to be unhindered. Does free speech sometimes hurt? Yes, but it is the foundation of our rights, and it's existence is important, regardless of its content.

I will never feel guilty for being born white. Being white has never benefited me. Hard work and God's Grace are my only privilege.

Our Calamity

A lot of people like to share memes that claim they just want people to be real, because they hate fake people.
Well, this is me being real.

The preacher sought to find out acceptable words: and that which was written was upright, even words of truth.
Ecclesiastes 12:1‭0

Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.  For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.
Ecclesiastes 12:13‭-‬14 KJV

If you're going to come on social media, seeking the sympathy of others, because your life is not going as you expected, be man enough to examine yourself and see if there is a reason for the calamity.

But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven. Matthew 10:33

Jesus says that if you deny him before man he will deny you before God the Father. That changes nothing about salvation, if you are already a child of God. But don't expect to be continuing in your sin, denying Christ through your actions and inactions, and expect him to perform his role as mediator between you and God.

He that turneth away his ear from hearing the law, even his prayer shall be abomination. Proverbs 28:9

When you complain about how others are treating you, consider how you have treated God.

Then came the word of the Lord by Haggai the prophet, saying,  Is it time for you, O ye, to dwell in your ceiled houses, and this house lie waste?  Now therefore thus saith the Lord of hosts; Consider your ways.  Ye have sown much, and bring in little; ye eat, but ye have not enough; ye drink, but ye are not filled with drink; ye clothe you, but there is none warm; and he that earneth wages earneth wages to put it into a bag with holes.  Thus saith the Lord of hosts; Consider your ways.  Go up to the mountain, and bring wood, and build the house; and I will take pleasure in it, and I will be glorified, saith the Lord .  Ye looked for much, and, lo, it came to little; and when ye brought it home, I did blow upon it. Why? saith the Lord of hosts. Because of mine house that is waste, and ye run every man unto his own house.  Therefore the heaven over you is stayed from dew, and the earth is stayed from her fruit.  And I called for a drought upon the land, and upon the mountains, and upon the corn, and upon the new wine, and upon the oil, and upon that which the ground bringeth forth, and upon men, and upon cattle, and upon all the labour of the hands.
Haggai 1:3‭-‬11 KJV

You have sought to find pleasure for yourself, but you have neglected that which pleases God. At some point you have to realize that the reason you're in pig slop is because it is time for you to return to God.
There is pleasure in sin, for a season. But eventually you have to come to realize that esteeming the reproach of Christ is far greater riches than all the treasures that you are seeking for your own pleasure.
God makes it very clear how he will react to our continued neglect of his will. Not only will he make sure that we do not prosper, but the Bible says that he will actually laugh at our calamity.

How long, ye simple ones, will ye love simplicity? and the scorners delight in their scorning, and fools hate knowledge?  Turn you at my reproof: behold, I will pour out my spirit unto you, I will make known my words unto you.  Because I have called, and ye refused; I have stretched out my hand, and no man regarded;  But ye have set at nought all my counsel, and would none of my reproof:  I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh;  When your fear cometh as desolation, and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind; when distress and anguish cometh upon you.  Then shall they call upon me, but I will not answer; they shall seek me early, but they shall not find me:  For that they hated knowledge, and did not choose the fear of the Lord :  They would none of my counsel: they despised all my reproof.  Therefore shall they eat of the fruit of their own way, and be filled with their own devices.  For the turning away of the simple shall slay them, and the prosperity of fools shall destroy them.
Proverbs 1:22‭-‬32 KJV

Throughout my life, I have probably had more people laugh at me than with me. The majority of that is probably my fault. But if God laughs at me, it is all my fault. I do not say this boastfully when I say that I know God has had his season to laugh at me. I cannot raise my fist towards heaven and declare him injust. The only way to stop him from laughing at my calamity is for me to shake my fist at the man I see in the mirror, and decide to return to the path God has for me. That path is declared in Ecclesiastes 12:13, Revelations 4:11, and elsewhere in Scripture.

Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.
Revelation 4:11 KJV

If you believe that this is aimed squarely at you, consider yourself among friends, because I do not know of a single Christian who can read these scriptures and not say, "Ouch!"
I have tried to include enough scripture that you could delete my commentary from this and still receive the instructions that God has given us.

"True" Christians

I'm always perplexed when people use the term "true Christian."
Christian means Christ-like. You either are, or you ain't. If you ain't, you are still headed to Hell. Sin doesn't send you to hell. Stopping sin doesn't make you avoid hell. It's a matter of belief. Do you believe the Gospel, that you are a sinner, Christ died for you, was buried, and rose again? If so, you are already a "true" Christian.
It is similar to when George H. W. Bush was asked, on 9-12-01, if he was a Christian. His answer was yes, but not a born-again Christian, like his son. There is no other way to become Christ-like. Jesus said, "Ye must be born again."
If you HAVE been born again, you are already a "true" Christian. That does not mean that you have received some special work of Grace and are now sinless or perfect. It simply means that your sins have been forgiven, and as in Scripture, when Jesus forgives your sins he says, "Go, and sin no more."
Why then do we choose to segregate Christian into categories? If we had to take a lie detector before coming in the church to decide who sits on what side of the building, I am afraid the building's foundation would be weakened by everyone being on the "not true" Christian side.
We all still sin, but thankfully we have an advocate with the father. 1 John 2:1
When someone points out your sin, or alleged sin, they are not saying that you are not a "true Christian." They are saying that you might be in sin. They recognize it, because they have been there. Maybe not in the same sin, but we all know what it is like how to fail our heavenly Father. They point it out for many reasons, beginning with your spiritual health. But it might be for the help of another.

To the sinning Christian (that's all of us), be forgiven (ask) and go and sin no more.

To the person segregating Christians into true and not true, stop. "Not true" Christians are simply Not Christians and need the Gospel.

Social Media

Getting my fourth, I believe, 30-day suspension on Facebook, and the possible actions have others close to me has caused me do you want to give my thoughts on social media and it's value to conservatives and Christians.

First, let me say that all of my suspensions have been over ridiculous stuff. The last two have been for using the term "white trash." The latest was me telling my son that using ALL CAPS makes him look like white trash.

Over the years, many people have proposed conservative just leaving Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and other social media platforms that occasionally ban us for saying stuff. While that sounds good on the surface, it is actually a white flag surrender to the liberals who run those platforms.

By "taking your ball and going home," you're giving the liberals exactly what they want. Is Mark Zuckerberg had his way, there would be no conservatives and Christians on Facebook. He made a big deal out of traveling all over the country, meeting ordinary folk, but then returned to Facebook and did nothing to meet the needs of those ordinary folk. It was just an excuse for him to travel around the country and make a few PR points.

I don't have a problem with people creating other platforms for those with particular interests. There are social media platforms out there for hunters, gun enthusiasts, Quilters, and just about any other group that you can think of. Those groups are great for those people communicating with each other. But that is kind of like the church only taking God's Word to saved people.

I'm not saying that any of my conservative and Christian posts are doing anything to change anyone's mind, but I am at least letting others know what is right. If I just shut down my account because I am ticked off at Facebook, or whatever social media account is involved, I no longer have any access to the people who could probably use a little truth and perspective in their life.

Yes, there are also dangers involved with participating in social media. Men have fallen for old flames, new flames, and just fallen back in love with their old single life, ruining their marriage because of online activity with social media. Despite the age restrictions put on Facebook accounts, children have been lured into dangerous and sometimes deadly situations because their parents are too sorry to monitor their social media accounts.

But I have a news flash for you. There is an inherent danger with leaving your house everyday. You could even die in your house, alone. We face dangers with everything that we do, including breathing.

There is nothing wrong with playing by the rules set forth by whatever social media platform you use, as long as those rules do not violate scripture. If they try to force me to add something that is pro-abortion, or Pro sodomite to my account, then I must leave. But if they are just trying to censor my speech a little bit, I will just continue to learn how to navigate around their rules to be able to have the platform that I want to have and share my views and ideas.

There is plenty of good in social media. That is actually my number one news source. I see the links to legitimate news that are posted and I look into those issues. I have not sat down and watched, or listened to an actual national news show in probably over 4 years. I follow local news personalities to keep abreast of the news and weather back home while I travel. I follow a lot of conservative personalities to keep abreast of national and international events. I also check out some of the stories that I see my liberal friends share. I actually do find it a value to know how they think on some of these issues. I usually find their thinking to be disturbing, but I come away with at least knowing how disturbing their thought process is.

If Facebook or any other social media platform is causing you to sin, then I suggest you get rid of it. But if you are just upset that they are censoring what you say, just be smart, and learn how to navigate their rules. America needs conservative voices in every Avenue available to them.

Stay in it!

I spent Friday and Saturday at Circle C Baptist camp, just outside of Lexington Kentucky. They were having their annual Kentucky shootout. It is an event for men and boys to spend some time shooting, competing, and learning from God's Word.
Friday night, Pastor Don Letson spoke about never quitting on God. Most people who were in attendance probably applied this more to their Christian service than their daily walk with God.
But I know there are some people who might need to use this to look at their daily walk, or what used to be a daily walk with Christ.
I wish I had an actual recording of the message to share with you, because I know that I will fail, and therefore not even try to share the same powerful message that he delivered from God. Hopefully though I can say something that someone might need from what I gleaned off of his preaching.
While brother Letson was preaching, I let God work on me and kept my thoughts about myself. But I will be honest with you. As I've been driving the last 3 or 4 hours, and chewing on it, God has repeatedly put different people on my mind that I wish could have been there for the message.
I won't be so bold as to say that I've been where you have been, or that I have experienced what you have experienced, but I know that there are others who have. It doesn't really matter though because your problems and experiences are always going to be yours and yours alone. There is no grand scale that I can look at to weigh your tribulations against those of others. but if you are using those experiences and tribulations as an excuse to not continue with God, please keep reading and see what Paul went through in his service to God.

Are they ministers of Christ? (I speak as a fool) I am more; in labours more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequent, in deaths oft.  Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes save one.  Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep;  In journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren;  In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness.  Beside those things that are without, that which cometh upon me daily, the care of all the churches.  Who is weak, and I am not weak? who is offended, and I burn not?  If I must needs glory, I will glory of the things which concern mine infirmities.
2 Corinthians 11:23‭-‬30 KJV

I want to give a quick caveat to the tone that Paul was using here. When dealing with the Corinthian Church, a very proud and carnal Church, Paul had to speak on their level to get their attention. Then, once their attention was gained, he laid the truth on them.
Having said that, let me assure you that Paul was not actually boasting here. But all of the trials that he went through are real, and most are recorded throughout the New Testament.
We love comparing ourselves to others. I think it mostly stems from that small measure of pride that we just can't seem to rid ourselves of. But, it is not always a bad thing. After all, Paul tells us that he is given to us to be an example of how to follow Christ.

I know you were hurt. I know you reacted bad to some things. I know you did some things you wish you would have never done. I know it seemed like you were all alone and that all of this "Bible stuff" was useless. And I know that there are probably many things that I do not know about you or your circumstances, that caused you to walk away from God.
But what I do know is that he is still right where he's always been, waiting for you to return and someday see why it was worth not giving up.
Paul never gave up. I would hate to have to go through all that he suffered. I don't know that I could go through all that he suffered. At least, not on my own. Paul was not alone in his suffering.

For though I would desire to glory, I shall not be a fool; for I will say the truth: but now I forbear, lest any man should think of me above that which he seeth me to be, or that he heareth of me.  And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.  For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.  And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
2 Corinthians 12:6‭-‬10 KJV

This is where Paul sets aside speaking on their level, and just starts plowing the truth.
God's Grace is still sufficient for us. It doesn't matter what your burden is. It doesn't matter how much someone hurt you. It doesn't matter how much you feel that you might have failed.
What matters is that God's grace is still sufficient for you. He has never left you. He has never turned his back on you. Like the father of The Prodigal Son, he is standing there looking down the road, waiting to see you coming home. And just as the father of The Prodigal Son, when you make a step in that direction he will run to you, wrap his arms around you and bring you back into his fold.

Paul never gave up. In trials and tribulations that would have killed most of us, he kept his eyes on what lay before him. He knew that one day he would be able to see and say that it was truly worth it all. He kept going, and eventually was able to say...

For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand.  I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:  Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.
2 Timothy 4:6‭-‬8 KJV

To quote my favorite radio duo, "Stay in it!"
If you have already quit, come back where you belong.

Entitled Much?

Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God:  And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;  Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.  But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons.
Colossians 3:22‭-‬25 KJV

I will admit, that the scripture on using only has a cursory application to the incident that sparked my desire to write this blog entry. But here goes, anyway.
Well obviously, Paul is writing the scriptures to Christians. His use of the word servants does not mean that this only applies to a slave. It has a great application for all employers, contractors, or any other hired individuals.
I will just go ahead and give you the story. As I'm standing in a truck stop trying to decide what type of snack I want to buy, I hear a male employee talking about cleaning the showers. I missed the first part of the conversation with his co-workers, but he basically said that he was tired of putting forth the extra effort in cleaning the showers because it wasn't as if anyone was tipping him anyway.
For those not familiar with how truck stop showers work, anyone can stop at a truck stop and pay around $10 to get the use of a usually clean, private shower. If you stop at a sketchy looking truck stop, you might have a sketchy looking shower. But most major chains have very clean, modern showers. This happened to be at a Pilot in Mebane, North Carolina. Truck drivers also get a free shower for buying 50-100 gallons of fuel or more. It's been awhile since I've had to shower at a truck-stop.
I have left a tip before, but it is usually only when I see that the person cleaning the showers has left a note saying that they hope everything is up to my expectations. I know the purpose of that note is to bait me into a tip, but I have no problem dropping a dollar or two if I can tell they did a very good job cleaning the shower. But, that should never be expected. The person who cleans that shower is getting paid an hourly rate to do so. They agreed to that when they took the job. Only at larger truck stops do they usually hire people to specifically clean the showers and not really have any other duties. So at this truck stop, cleaning showers was side duty for other store personnel. Leaving tips in a shower is not even something that is common in the trucking industry. It's just another thing that we can blame on the Starbucks tip jar. There are certain service Industries that have always involved tipping, regardless of whether they were being paid a full salary or a waitress salary that expect tips. Delivery guys, household goods Movers, obviously waitresses and Waiters, and a few others are jobs that should typically expect to get a tip unless they screw something up. But ever since Starbucks started sticking out a jar to tip people who do nothing more than what they were paid to do, every other worker has tried to figure out some way to make tips.
This guy was brazen enough to register his complaint with several customers within earshot.
I obviously have no idea whether he is a Christian or not, but I am sure that all of us are guilty of expecting something extra when all we have done is what is our reasonable service. You can go look up Romans 12:1 on your own, but it is obvious that even God can see that some people think they have done something special, when all they have done are the simple things they're supposed to do.
In Colossians, Paul is specifically speaking to those who serve others in a secular sense. I have been guilty of awaiting a pat on the back for doing something that I thought was above and beyond. Occasionally, I have actually gotten that pat on the back. But on at least one occasion, the pat-on-the-back came as more of a reaction to the laziness of co-workers than the above expectation service that I rendered.
Don't work for your check, or for a tip. Give extra effort in everything you do, because you are doing it as unto the Lord. This is especially essential when you are known to be a Christian.

Yes, I can be offended

You know what is offensive to me?
After every shooting, the left loves to say that we put our right to bear arms above the lives of children and other victims. They pretend that it is impossible for us to cherish both.
The "we" I mentioned includes gun owners, the NRA, and every other citizen that values our God-given right to self defense, guaranteed by the United States Constitution.
Not wanting to toot my own horn, let me tell you what my friends, part of the "we", do.
My gun owner friends work suicide hotlines. They volunteer time away from their lives to try and save the lives of those who intend to take their own.
My friends give of their time to counsel women who are considering to murder their own children before they are born. When they could be spending happy moments with their own families, they are crying on the phone, pleading with a stranger so that some unknown child can be born.
My friends are foster parents, as was I. They interrupt their own lives to swoop in and provide a stable home for hurting children whose parents have some issues to work out. They then must endure the pain of seeing this child, who has become part of their very soul, taken away when the state decides to return them home. They repeat the process, knowing that is simply how it works. They never expect to keep every child, but they cannot help but love them.
My friends adopt children for similar reasons as those who foster. They spend time, money, and much emotion on doing all they can to change a child's life. My adopted son is only my adopted son when I speak of adoption. The rest of the time, he is simply my son. No desire to have a son exists that is not fulfilled by my relationship with him.
My friends are among the most generous in charitable giving. Children around the world eat food provided by my friends' giving.
My friends volunteer to counsel prison inmates, not only sacrificing of their time, but putting their own safety at risk. Think what you want about prison evangelism, the facts show that despite the number of fake, jailhouse religious "con-versions", those who participate in Christian prison activities have a much lower rate of recidivism.
My friends spend their lives in service to others. Whether it be military, police, fire, or medical, my friends are the majority of those who volunteer to dedicate their lives to the protection of others. That's why the military votes conservative, they were conservative when they volunteered.
My friends spend Saturday and Sunday caring for kids who ride a bus to church. I've seen the parents of those kids admit to sending them on the bus, just to get a few peaceful hours without their little burdens running around the house. I've heard countless testimony of those kids going on to live productive lives, entirely different from their impoverished peers. Some of those testimonies have played out before my own eyes.
I could go on, but doing so would involve personal stories that aren't mine to tell.
Gun owners love children. Gun owners hate to see anyone murdered. Gun owners want to see everyone protected from evil.
It is the "we" who pushes for safer schools. A sign will never protect a school. A sign just gives a liberal the ability to say he/she "tried." But that "try" is not acceptable. We want our kids protected as much as our money, politicians, and celebrities. None of those are protected merely by a law. They have adequate armed protection. We regret the realization that society has fallen so much, but we recognize that extreme measures must be taken to protect our children. The technology exists, and there is no excuse to just be satisfied with the status quo.
We are your everyday, emotional, compassionate, concerned citizens. We differ from the rest in that we know that restricting the rights of law-abiding citizens has and will never prevent a tragedy. Those bent on destruction will always find an avenue to evil.
Yes, We can be offended. But it will not distract us from the defense of our rights.
We are perfectly capable of loving our rights and the rights and protection of others.

Born With a Silver Spoon

Lou Holtz - Trust • Commitment • Love<-click

Wow! Lou just made me cry, laugh, cry, and laugh some more.
This isn't all there is to life and success, but boy howdy! it's a good start!

I look at the blessings in my life, and my childhood seems so foreign, yet so familiar. I hope my kids didn't miss something in life because God made me more financially capable.

My story:
Born in a small, Indiana town to a family that did not know God. That changed before I was a year old. The earliest memories of my dad are of him not having a job, and not having luck finding another one. I remember him working in a fruit stand, selling local produce for someone we knew. The only time I have ever ridden on a tractor was when he was helping that same man in the fields. I rode on his lap.
Eventually my Pawpaw found Daddy a job in Alabama, and we loaded up our belongings and headed south. No home, just relatives to depend on. I remember arriving in Tuscumbia at Pawpaw's house, where we lived for a while.
Over the years we lived in houses with no toilet or tub, used an outhouse, bathed in the yard in a steel tub, stood in line for cheese and peanut butter, used food stamps, spent weeks without electricity because we couldn't pay the bill, carried drinking water in old milk jugs from Mawmaw's house or running off a bluff, wore secondhand clothes, wore whatever shoes the Dollar Store sold, often relied on charity for food, spent weeks eating potatoes and bread, learned to play for hours with sticks and anything else I could find, often found our best Christmas gifts waiting on the porch after a trip to the grocery store on a Saturday evening, watching and later helping my dad keep old rust buckets running so we had transportation, and the list could go on.
But I also soared to the moon in a spaceship made from an old shopping cart. My brother and I traveled the United States in our RV/bed with the aid of an old Rand McNally atlas. I broke world motocross records on my flea market bicycle. I climbed mountains, fought ninjas, explored the darkest jungles, fought wild animals, carried out secret missions, and always got the girl, though she probably didn't know it. :)
Then I went home to a filling meal, a warm bed, and parents who loved me, and prayed for me.
Yes Lou, I, too, was born with a silver spoon in my mouth.

Just some thoughts

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;  That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,  That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.  So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.  For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:  For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.  For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.  This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.  Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Ephesians 5:25‭-‬33 KJV

Yes, the wife has duties to the husband. They are partially covered in the verses preceding my chosen passage. But I'm not a wife, and I chose to post my own responsibility to God and my wife. No need to paraphrase it. It's in simple English.
Note that their are no exceptions. I does not say ~husbands love your wives when hey are good to you. It says "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it."
You may actually encounter an incident that requires you to physically give your life for your wife, as Christ did for the church, but EVERY DAY you have opportunities to do such on a smaller, no not smaller, a different scale. Set aside you pride, your desires, your attitude, your own proclivities, and do everything with her in mind.
It does not mean that you won't occasionally have to make a decision she doesn't agree to. But you would be amazed at how often treating her right will cause her to want you to lead, and accept your leadership.
Go's had a plan for marriage and spousal relationships. He modeled it after the relationship of his Son to the Church. If you have not been her Christ, don't expect her to treat you like Him.

Be Happy

Just a short, non-exhaustive list of true happiness.
NOTICE: No mention of wealth and fame...

Hearing of wisdom:
- Queen of Sheba to Solomon
Happy are thy men, happy are these thy servants, which stand continually before thee, and that hear thy wisdom.
1 Kings 10:8 KJV

Worship of Jehovah:
Happy is that people, that is in such a case: yea, happy is that people, whose God is the Lord .
Psalms 144:15 KJV

Receiving wisdom:
Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding.  For the merchandise of it is better than the merchandise of silver, and the gain thereof than fine gold.
Proverbs 3:13‭-‬14 KJV

Accepting correction:
Behold, happy is the man whom God correcteth: therefore despise not thou the chastening of the Almighty:  For he maketh sore, and bindeth up: he woundeth, and his hands make whole.
Job 5:17‭-‬18 KJV

Possessing God as Lord:
Happy is he that hath the God of Jacob for his help, whose hope is in the Lord his God:  Which made heaven, and earth, the sea, and all that therein is: which keepeth truth for ever:  Which executeth judgment for the oppressed: which giveth food to the hungry. The Lord looseth the prisoners:
Psalms 146:5‭-‬7 KJV

Keeping the Law:
Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.
Proverbs 29:18 KJV

Children:
-The Psalmist, to Jody Brooks. Just kidding:
Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord : and the fruit of the womb is his reward.  As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.  Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
Psalms 127:3‭-‬5 KJV

There is way more, but I need to get my beauty sleep. It takes a LOT!