Getting Old

Psalms 71:18 Now also when I am old and grayheaded, O God, forsake me not; until I have shewed thy strength unto this generation, and thy power to every one that is to come.

My oldest Daughter turns eighteen today.

Alisha Marie Hopper 1999

I look at old pictures and wonder where the years went. I also wonder if I've given her the skills she will need to survive outside the doors of my house. Not just the regular things, like cleaning, cooking, raising children. But how will she follow God?

My prayer is to continue training her until I give her hand in marriage, and she becomes one with the man God has chosen for her.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

We can debate all day on the exact application of the last statement, but I see the first statement as a command.

She still has a few years left in high school. I will never regret the year we had to hold her back. It not only allowed her to catch up in school, but it adds years for us with her at home.

We already pray for her future mate to be a Godly young man, and for God to lead him to Alisha in God's time.

She will always be my little Cookie. I gave her the name the first time I saw her devouring cookie after cookie. At first I called her Cookie Monster, but later shortened it to Cookie.

Metropolis, IL 2010

9/11 and my Mawmaw

Yes, I realize a blog about 9/11 is a little past due. Sue me.

9/11 was a little different for me this year. It was my grandmother's birthday, and the first one since her passing last year, two days before Christmas.

My mother mentioned how hard it is going through a year of "firsts." First Christmas without her, followed by the funeral a few days later. First Mother's Day. First birthday.

We know the next big day will be the anniversary of her passing. I will try to be there for my mother, but I don't know what to say. I barely cried at the funeral, even though my aunts and cousins were sobbing near me, or on me. I hope none of them thought I was just being callous.

You see, my Mawmaw's life said, "Saved, saved, saved!" when I dropped out of church at age 17, she lovingly shamed me for refusing to go to church with my Dad.

When her Alzheimer's got worse, I kept praying that in her mind, somewhere, she was dreaming of walking Heaven's shore with my Pawpaw. I kept hoping that behind that empty smile, she was holding hands with her Saviour, and he was saying, "I'll always be here for you, Vernell."

Last time I saw Mamaw, 7/11/09

I know that's what she's doing now. I knew that at the funeral, while everybody else was crying. I knew she was looking down begging us not to be sad.

I don't think ill of those who were sad. As strong as we try to be, we are still human. I could have opened the floodgates of tears at any moment. I'm a crier. I'm not ashamed of that. Get me talking about what God did for me, and I tear up just thinking of His Grace. I cry often thinking how I miss my daddy. I cry watching movies so much that my kids will recognize a sad part, and start watching me for tears. And not just at sad things. I cry during the "touching" scenes where everyone is happy, but emotional.

Knowing how easy it is for me to cry, crying at her funeral would only be ordinary. I wanted to show my children that the Bible is true when it says that we don't sorrow as others.

1 Thessalonians 4:13 But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope.

I purposed in my heart that I would be strong. The way I saw it, if I really believed she was with Jesus, then why would I cry? I shed very few tears that day. When my brother preached the ceremony, I got to smile a lot, remembering the strong lady I called Mawmaw.

But I finally succumbed to tears. Not later that day. Not later that week. But just a few months ago. (you can laugh at me, here) We were watching "Driving Miss Daisy" when one of the kids remarked how, at the end in the nursing home scene, she looked like Mawmaw. It didn't hit me right away, but as the scene progressed, and the Alzheimer's was more evident, I started missing my Mawmaw. I broke down, right in front of my wife and children.

Did I ruin what I had established at the funeral? I don't think so. Read the verse again. It doesn't say we are simply to have no sorrow. It says we do not sorrow as those with no hope. You see, there were those at the funeral with no hope. There were many there who will never see Mawmaw again, unless they get saved. They should be sobbing. Their feet are walking in sulfur. They are headed to a Hell beyond their own comprehension. They sorrow because even if they have a head knowledge of God, they don't have that indwelling Spirit to soothe their crying. They don't really know what to believe, and what not to believe.

I wasn't crying for my Mawmaw. I was just missing her. I think that's OK.

So, on 9/11/2010, Mawmaw's first birthday with Jesus, I spent the day driving, listening to news about 9/11, and replays of broadcasts from that day. I was worked up a little at how soon after 9/11 America gave up on the brotherhood we learned on that day. I heard relatives read the name of their loved ones who died on that day. And amongst all the ceremony and remembrances, I just simply spent the day missing my Mawmaw.

9/11/2001 changed our world. 9/11/2010 changed 9/11 for me, forever.

Mawmaw, you meant the world to me. I am the man I am today due to your Godly influence. I know where you are, and I know I will see you again. But I do miss you.

She was singing Amazing Grace

No sermon here. Just a few thoughts about my Mawmaw and her birthday.

It Is Your Life

Deuteronomy 32:46,47
(Moses speaking to the children of Israel)
And he said unto them, Set your hearts unto all the words which I testify among you this day, which ye shall command your children to observe to do, all the words of this law. For it is not a vain thing for you; BECAUSE IT IS YOUR LIFE: and through this thing ye shall prolong your days in the land, whither ye go over Jordan to possess it. (emphasis added)

We often hear that by obeying your parents, you add to your years. The Bible is very clear that this is true.
But here, we see that by commanding our children to walk in God's will, we also prolong our lives. Perhaps this is why He calls them our LIFE.
The first time I remember hearing my Pastor use this passage, the words "it is your life" jumped out at me and left a huge lump in my throat.
The very reason for my existence, at this moment, is to see that my children are cared for. My wife is my partner in this. We want what is best for our children. Not what is most desired by them, but what God knows is BEST for them.

Tiger Woods came on the scene not too many years ago. We all watched the pride in his father's eyes as he climbed the ranks doing what earlier society would not allow his father to do.
I can only imagine what his first green jacket meant to his father.
I used to be jealous of Tiger, because his Dad got to see him succeed. I wished mine could see some of my comparitively minor accomplishments. I wish he could see his grandkids, and my beautiful wife.
We watched Tiger cry when his father died and slipped off into eternity. I empathized with Tiger that day. Though I am not a golf fan, I became a Tiger fan. I feel he loved his Daddy just as much as I loved mine.
I was pleased to hear stories about his marriage to a beautiful woman, and later, the birth of his kids. I imagined him one day teaching his own son the game that brought his father so much joy.

Then came the wreck. Rumors started immediately. Women from all over the circuit came forward as his girlfriends. The media was abuzz. We watched him go to ridiculous clinics to be treated for equally ridiculous ailments.

Now they are divorced.
Now a mother is without her life partner.
Now children are without their father.
Now a father is without... His life.

If only we had a rewind button.

Again, I can empathize with Tiger. But with a twist, this time. You see part of my life is now separated from me because someone else became a greater influence in his life than I was.
I can reason some things away. I know we all have free will. But when I know my son spent a period sleeping in his truck; when I see him continually make choices that keep hurting him; when I lay in bed and wonder where he is, no amount of reasoning soothes my heart.

He is my life.

I do not even know all the mistakes I might have made. I don't know what to do different with my three remaining children. But I know that part of my life is missing.

God has shown me unbelievable grace in the past year since Ryan left home. He has brought me closer to my wife. He has taught me to cherish every moment with her. He has shown me how she enjoys just being with me, whether it be over coffee, or on a date.
God has taught me to cherish my children. He has shown me what is really important in their lives, and what is not needed. He has shown me how much they love seeing me act silly, just to see them smile and hear them laugh. Everyday I discover something new that I love about them. He has even given me opportunity to not be fearless, but show my youngest son how to face those fears and never back down.

I cannot say that I will not fail my children, again. But I am a changed man.

I pray as oft as I can for my son, Ryan. I pray for his safety. I pray for his health. I pray that he knows I still love him.
But most of all, I pray that God helps me to walk as I should, so that one day MY LIFE will come back to God.

He is a Soldier

We awaken to music and push the snooze for nine more minutes of rest,

…He awakens to sounds of heavy trucks moving nearby

He is a Soldier

We roll out of bed and head for the shower,

…He hasn’t showered in days

He is a Soldier

We spend ten minutes picking out the right tie,

…He only wishes he had some clean socks

He is a Soldier

We walk into the kitchen where we first see our wife today,

…He sees his loved ones only in his memory

He is a Soldier

We enjoy the toast and eggs as we sip our first cup of java,

…He stands in line for powdered eggs and wishes his coffee tasted like coffee

He is a Soldier

We complain about traffic on our daily commute,

...He will walk every where he goes today

He is a Soldier

We spend all day wondering if our co-worker will get the promotion we deserve,

…He wonders which of his buddies will die today

He is a Soldier

We rush down to the café griping about how short an hour lunch can seem,

…He waits in line again just to get a bowl of indistinguishable soup

He is a Soldier

We spend all afternoon plotting the best way to avoid traffic on our way home,

…He wonders what locale he will call home for the night

He is a Soldier

We look down our nose at the vagrant digging through trash wearing an old Army jacket,

…He is only looking for something to eat or wrap up in for the cold night ahead

He is THAT Soldier

I heard a while back that tens of thousands of veterans are homeless. Not that I hadn’t heard this before, but with Veteran’s Day coming (at the time) it hit home. My heart sank as I pondered a nation with such blessings allowing their heroes to sleep under bridges. These men served just as valiant as any other soldier, sailor, or marine. They left home and family to stand in the gap for our families. Some fought wars, some just stood in service. All deserve our respect.

I settled this a while back. I refuse to be modest about my military service because I feel it devalues what others like me have done. I left the Army Reserve for Regular Army in 1991. I signed my enlistment with the reports of the latest bombing runs in Iraq playing in the background. The LT thought that would make the enlistment more significant. Moments later I raised my hand and swore an oath to our nation. My graduating class at MP school was the first in almost a year not to go directly to Saudi Arabia.

When I left the service in 1994, family helped me get back on my feet. I lived with an aunt, then my brother till I was able to save enough money for an apartment. I worked three jobs at times and after realizing I wasn’t getting back into Law Enforcement, went to truckdriving school in 1996. Without the help of my family, I could have also ended up homeless.

It pains me to know that some of my Brothers in Arms are curling up with a bottle of cheap liquor under the Parkway as I type this very message. The reasons they are there vary. Some might even deserve to be there.

I’ve heard all the stories about those who have unsuccessfully tried to help Huntsville’s homeless.
It is easy to turn our backs on them and judge them as wanting to be there, but does compassion judge?

1 Corinthians 13:4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind…

I’m not announcing a new program, or surrendering to new work dealing with the homeless Vets. I’m just being the town crier. It’s 11pm and all is not well in our country.

What can we do? If you know of a way to help them, do so. Write your congressmen. We find it easy to write them when they want to raise our taxes. This is much more important than money.
They stood for us. Now, it’s our turn.
Pray that our nation begins showing more honor to its veterans.

Something for Nothing *NEW*

Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Romans 5:18 Therefore as by the offence of one judgment came upon all men to condemnation; even so by the righteousness of one the free gift came upon all men unto justification of life.

A free gift?

Everyone wants something for nothing. I am amazed at how many sensible, intelligent people fall for offers of getting something for free on the internet. Whether it be the Nigerian scam, offers for free gift cards for joining a group online, or offers of free virtual coins or whatever on facebook, people hazard their finances and computer equipment just to try and get something for free.
I wonder how many folks have had to wipeout their harddrives because of a virus they got while looking for a free lunch.
Regardless of how many times I warn friends about the danger of visiting certain sites, copying codes into their browsers, and the like, I still see them do it over and over. Then I notice they have the exact virus I tried to warn them about.
They put their faith in the most ridiculous scams, regardless of the cost.

Doesn't anyone know the old adage: If it looks too good to be true, it's probably not?

Then there's the exception to that rule: The God of the universe robed himself in human flesh, came to earth to walk as we walk, and GAVE himself as a sacrifice that we might not see death.
There is no catch.

• We don't have to give over our bank account info
• No one asks us for our private passwords
• We don't have to harrass our friends with endless emails asking for help in a scam
• We do absolutely nothing

Yet, so many refuse to put their faith in such a simple plan.

Could it be that God made it too simple? I don't think so.

Friend, God has a plan for every person on earth.

2 Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.

Jesus died on the cross for all of us. If we only place our faith in his free gift, we have life eternal.

Yes, you CAN get something for nothing.

Ephesians 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:

9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.
10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

The Finisher of Our Faith

Hebrews 12:2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith...


Do yourselves a favor, today. Read Hebrews 11:1-12:3

Don't just read it, though. Read it ALOUD! Make a Shakespearean production out of it. It's all pretty much in "modern" English. Not a thee or thou can be found. The only ye is in the last verse.

When you get to verse 32 start the hand gestures as a good Shakespearean actor/actress would. If that's a little weird, just imagine you are.

I have just read it, it would seem, for the first time. I love it when God just out of the blue takes a passage you have never gotten excited about and makes it electrifying. I know, I know. You are asking why I would not have already found this passage on faith exciting. Well, I cannot answer that. I've always been excited about my faith. My biggest question for the "lose your salvation," Armenian sort is how on earth can you not believe God will complete what he started.

But because faith is just that, "faith," I don't really need such an uplifting passage to soothe my soul. But that has all changed tonight. Look what all God did to fulfill his promises before our age. I don't need physical kingdoms subdued or live lion's mouths stopped. I hope I am never stoned or sawed asunder.

But in the spiritual sense he has done all those same things for us. A few he has done physically for us. His only begotten Son did give his life for us. He had no ram in the thicket because he WAS that ram.

If that don't set you afire, your wood's wet.

But none of this is why I wrote this email.

I record Extreme Makeover Home Edition on the computer to watch later on my laptop. It comes on during the Sunday Evening service. I have oft told friends my favorite part of the show. It is not seeing all the cool carpentry and flat panel tv's. It's not the awesome demolitions that occur on most shows. Although, the house they blew up with nitro was pretty amazing.

My favorite part is seeing the reactions when they move the bus and show the family their new home.

At the beginning of the show Ty promises to build the home. All through the week they get updates of the progress. But it is at that exact moment that their "faith" is made "sight."

Hebrews 12:2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith...

It's great to have faith, but one day we won't need faith anymore. The families on that show know of the show's reputation. They have great expectations. But the looks on their faces reveal how better sight is than faith.
Don't call me a heretic. Here on earth we walk by faith, not by sight. But some glorious morning when God calls us home, when Christ proves that he is the "finisher" of our faith, when we see him for what he is, it is SIGHT that will cause us to sing that song of the redeemed.

1 John 3:2 Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is.

Just as my elder friend, Bro Carlton won't need his cane, my crippled friend, Bro Jim won't need his chair, I won't need my faith.

1 Corinthians 13:8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

Is your wood dry, yet? Are you about to call Bro Boruff and ask him how to have a Baptacostal runnin' fit?

If I ever wanted my little muses to mean something to somebody, it is now. This Bible study has done so much for me tonight. Writing this muse was a good vent, and caused further study.

I look forward to the moment we, as heavenly saints, finally see that which is promised. It will be worth it all. Pardon me while I sing one of my favorite songs: (written by a Baptist Preacher, too)

I'm looking now across that river
to where my faith is gonna end in sight.
There's just a few more days to labor,
Then I will take, my heavenly flight

Beulah Land I'm longing for you,
and someday on thee I'll stand.
There my home shall be eternal.
Beulah Land, Sweet Beulah land

Bro Ralph Fiscus

"What have you done today that only a Christian would do?" -anon

Cal Ripken

Ephesians 4:1 I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called,


I’m not much of a sport’s fan, but I do have my favorite athletes. One of my favorite baseball players is Cal Ripken, Jr. He’s retired, but his record still stands.

You see, on Sep 6th, 1995 he went down in history for a feat that will probably never happen again. He beat Lou Gehrig's record and put his name forever in the history books. It wasn’t a record for the most hits, homers, RBI’s, or even stolen bases. He forged his name in the annals of baseball as the Iron Man. He showcased no superhuman attributes. He simply showed up ready for work and started in 2,131 games consecutively.

He characterizes it as 2,131 times that the manager deemed him fit to play. He was “chosen” each game day.

This is an affirmation that hits home and actually hurts when I think about it. Am I showing up for work on God’s field? Does Christ have reason to choose me each day to do even the smallest task for him?

Life takes many turns and often God’s will seems almost hidden from our view. I pray that I still seek, and oft find that will. For only there will I be “chosen” to hit the field.

Strong Drink

Proverbs 23:29 Who hath woe? who hath sorrow? who hath contentions? who hath babbling? who hath wounds without cause? who hath redness of eyes?

30 They that tarry long at the wine; they that go to seek mixed wine.
31 Look not thou upon the wine when it is red, when it giveth his colour in the cup, when it moveth itself aright.
32 At the last it biteth like a serpent, and stingeth like an adder.

A young boy, about nine years old was sitting on his Grandpa’s back porch anxiously awaiting his Grandpa’s return so they could go fishing. His Grandpa had gone next door to visit his neighbor. After several hours, the boy’s Grandma came out and inquired as to where the Grandpa was. Upon returning from the neighbor’s the Grandma scooped up the young boy and took him home to his parents. His Grandpa had just ended a long dry spell by getting drunk with moonshine that his neighbor had bought.
He never wanted to hurt his grandson. After all, that boy was his favorite of about five grandsons. But, you see, “Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging:” (Proverbs 20:1). He let his thirst for booze overcome the strongest of all emotions, love.

It still hurts when I recount this story, because if you haven’t already figured it out, I was that young boy. I spent every Saturday fishing, cutting grass, or both with my Grandpa. He stood about 6’3” and was the strongest man I knew. He was never in a war, but was my hero just the same. He rarely spoke of his days in jail around me because he only wanted me to see his good deeds.

But on that day he taught me a lesson that I never forgot. I felt the bite and sting of booze long before taking my first sip. This one incident played the most significant part in keeping me from alcohol for many years. I wanted no part in such sorrow.

I wish I could say I never submitted to the temptation of booze, but I eventually did. Alone in Germany, I felt it was safe because there was no one around to hurt. I didn’t rationalize it like that consciously, but seeing how I shied away from booze after getting married I can only guess that is how I felt deep down. Either way, God has taken that thirst from me, so I never have to sit in sorrow knowing the pain I inflicted on my own grandson some day.

Alcoholism is not a disease; it’s just sinful drunkenness. But do not discount this powerful tool of Satan. Look at your own children, or others you love. Can you ever see yourself going into such a rage as to harm one of them? I hope not.
My Grandpa never wanted to hurt me, but he did. Sober he could barely stand to spank me. But under the spell of the serpent’s toxin, his actions hurt me more than any spanking I ever got. How do I know this as truth? I remember getting many spankings as a child, but I cannot remember a single one by itself. But the bite and sting of booze I got that Saturday morning is just as fresh as ever. The scene is so clear in my mind, I could draw you a picture.

My Grandpa later had a testimony of accepting Christ. I am certain this same incident showed him the depth of his depravity. He withered away to just a shadow of his former self as chemotherapy failed to stop the cancer which had began in his alcohol-weakened liver. I can only imagine the tears he must have shed if God allowed him to see me drinking. But what joy there must have been when both he and my father saw my head and heart bowed toward God on the day I got saved. Praise God that we become new creatures once we put our faith in him.

I’m not really sure what affirmations can be drawn from this. But I thank you for taking the time to read a very personal story.



Ralph Fiscus

Isaiah 38

I have to say that I do not believe that I have ever actually read this chapter. I’ve flown through the words of this chapter many times. I have a bad habit of recognizing a Bible “story” and immediately I start speed-reading, but not this time. I came across verse seventeen while researching another matter. Read it again and see if something grabs your attention this time. This verse caused me to look at the whole chapter.

We’ve all known the story. Isaiah goes to a sick King Hezekiah and informs him that God says he will die. This was no mere doctor’s opinion. This was prophecy!

Can you even begin to imagine? The man whom you know to be closer to God than any other man on Earth tells you that God said to set your house in order. Before I could begin to imagine what I would do, I realized that I have already gotten this message. Not from one Man of God, but from many.

Romans 6:23a For the wages of sin is death

Not even from just men, but from God’s own Son.

Luke 13:3 I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.

Both verses speak of a death without God. It was the knowledge of this death that caused me to seek God. Was Hezekiah’s response any different? Do you see him making any effort to prepare his loved ones for his departing? Is he checking his life insurance policy? No, he does the same thing I did back on February 26th of 1997. Upon realization of his condition, he sought not to be consoled, but went straight to the Great Physician for his healing.

At first we are not given much of the text of his prayer, but in his psalm he recounts his prayer to us. Look at his confidence:

Isaiah 38:16 O Lord, by these things men live, and in all these things is the life of my spirit: so wilt thou recover me, and make me to live.

This is not a “hope so” declaration! He already knows the answer. When is the last time you heard anyone speak about Hezekiah’s faith?

Then comes my favorite verse of the chapter:

Isaiah 38:17 Behold, for peace I had great bitterness: but thou hast in love to my soul delivered it from the pit of corruption: for thou hast cast all my sins behind thy back.

When I saw the last part of that verse, I pondered it. Then God brought another, more familiar verse to my mind:

James 1:17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.

Again, notice the last part of this verse and apply it to the last phrase of Isaiah 38:17.

In our bitterness, God’s love for us has caused Him to deliver our soul from the pit of corruption, and to put that which placed us in that pit behind him to never be seen by holy eyes again.

God has cast our sins behind his back, and then tells us in scripture that he will not turn back to look upon it.

This is illustrated all thoughout scripture, but it’s amazing how God can bring to light that same “old story” in new ways if we just allow Him to by reading His Word.

We should strive to keep the old “us” in the same place God put our sins. If our face is set toward God, the demons of our past will be forever behind us. This is my prayer for myself and I hope it is yours as well.



Ralph Fiscus