He is...

A song I heard gave me this idea. For a good personal devotion, search a concise concordance for a word that begins with each letter of the alphabet. Then find a verse that represents what God is to you. If you do this, some will jump off the page, and put a tear in your eye, and a song in your heart.

What is God to me?

He is:

my Anchor- Hebrews 6:19  Which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and stedfast, and which entereth into that within the veil;

my Balance- Job 31:6  Let me be weighed in an even balance, that God may know mine integrity.

my Council- Psalms 16:7  I will bless the LORD, who hath given me counsel: my reins also instruct me in the night seasons.

my Dayspring- Luke 1:78  Through the tender mercy of our God; whereby the dayspring from on high hath visited us,

my Earnest- 2 Corinthians 1:22  Who hath also sealed us, and given the earnest of the Spirit in our hearts.

my Family- (this one got to me) 1 John 3:2  Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is.
(think on this one. God calls me son. Hallelujah!)

my Guide- Psalms 48:14  For this God is our God for ever and ever: he will be our guide even unto death.

my Happiness- 1 Peter 4:14  If ye be reproached for the name of Christ, happy are ye; for the spirit of glory and of God resteth upon you: on their part he is evil spoken of, but on your part he is glorified.

my Immortality- 2 Timothy 1:10  But is now made manifest by the appearing of our Saviour Jesus Christ, who hath abolished death, and hath brought life and immortality to light through the gospel:

my Jawbone- Judges 15:15  And he found a new jawbone of an ass, and put forth his hand, and took it, and slew a thousand men therewith. (whatever he provides is all I need)

my Keeper- Psalms 121:5  The LORD is thy keeper: the LORD is thy shade upon thy right hand.

my Longing- Psalms 107:9  For he satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness.

my Master- John 13:13  Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am.

my Name- Acts 11:26  And when he had found him, he brought him unto Antioch. And it came to pass, that a whole year they assembled themselves with the church, and taught much people. And the disciples were called Christians first in Antioch. (bearing His name brings great responsibility)

my Omnipotent Father- Revelation 19:6  And I heard as it were the voice of a great multitude, and as the voice of many waters, and as the voice of mighty thunderings, saying, Alleluia: for the Lord God omnipotent reigneth.

my Precious Cornerstone- 1 Peter 2:7  Unto you therefore which believe he is precious: but unto them which be disobedient, the stone which the builders disallowed, the same is made the head of the corner,

my Quietness- Job 34:29  When he giveth quietness, who then can make trouble? and when he hideth his face, who then can behold him? whether it be done against a nation, or against a man only:

my Ram in the thicket- Genesis 22:13  And Abraham lifted up his eyes, and looked, and behold behind him a ram caught in a thicket by his horns: and Abraham went and took the ram, and offered him up for a burnt offering in the stead of his son. (and I have to add Abraham's statement of faith)
Genesis 22:8a  And Abraham said, My son, God will provide himself a lamb for a burnt offering:

my Saviour- Isaiah 43:11  I, even I, am the LORD; and beside me there is no saviour.

my Testimony- Hebrews 11:5  By faith Enoch was translated that he should not see death; and was not found, because God had translated him: for before his translation he had this testimony, that he pleased God.
(oh, how often I fail, but I long for this, for God to be my testimony)

my Unction- 1 John 2:20  But ye have an unction from the Holy One, and ye know all things.

my Virtue- Luke 6:19  And the whole multitude sought to touch him: for there went virtue out of him, and healed them all.

my Waterspring_ Psalms 107:35  He turneth the wilderness into a standing water, and dry ground into watersprings.

my X-ray- Proverbs 20:27  The spirit of man is the candle of the LORD, searching all the inward parts of the belly. (I bet you've been wondering what I would put for X)

my Yearning- Psalms 73:25  Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee.

my Zeal- Galatians 4:18  But it is good to be zealously affected always in a good thing, and not only when I am present with you.

I loved this study. I had to expose myself to many scriptures to pick the ones I wanted to use. That's never a bad thing.
Don't go for the easy one. Saviour and anchor are the only ones I chose without searching.

August 8th, 1993

I mentioned not long ago on Facebook how oft God must redirect our lives in order to keep us alive.

Let me share a few things:

1) A short time prior to this date, my Dad talked with his pastor. He informed his pastor that he had begun praying that if it took his own death for me to come to Christ, he was ready to go.

2) In early July, I had reported for duty at Ft Riley, KS after a 45 day leave at home in Alabama. My first weekend in Kansas, I set up a video camera in a hotel room to send a video greeting to my friends back in Berlin, Germany.
I just rewatched that video a few weeks ago. On that tape I make mention of an operation that the general public knew nothing of, at the time.
My orders to Ft Riley were not for the 1st MP Co. I was to be assigned to the SEP company. They were primarily Law Enforcement and did not deploy with 1st Infantry. That sounded appealing to me.
But on my arrival, they were a few weeks into preparing to deploy to Somalia. They had filled my slot with another MP prior to my arrival, so I was reassigned to 1st MP Co.

3) On August 6th, I was taken from a training mission, given $100 of Red Cross loan money, and sent home. My Dad had suffered his first heart attack. I got home on the 7th. He met his Saviour face to face on the 8th of August, 1993.

4) On the same day, in far away Somalia, the unit I was supposed to be with arrived in Somalia, and lost four men on the first day. The Humvee they were riding in hit an anti-tank landmine.
Two of those soldiers were the same rank as me. It's not guaranteed I would've been in that Humvee, but that was supposed to be MY unit.
This was the early stages of the conflict portrayed in the movie/book Blackhawk Down.

Coincidence? I don't think so. I believe God intervened and redirected my life in order to keep his promise to my Daddy. The rest of that promise was fulfilled on Feb 26th, 1997.

Pride and Arrogance

I recently heard Glenn Beck ask a group of soldiers what is the difference between pride and arrogance. I went to my Bible, Noah Webster 1828, Merriam-Webster online dictionary and Strong's Concordance to see if Glenn's comparison held up in a study of the above books.

First, I want to illuminate a fact about Bible study.

We use the KJV 1611 for many reasons. It is not my desire to go over those at this time. But I will state emphatically that I am a KJV man. I don't use, study, or refer to other versions. I have evaluated several of them, just for confirmation of their errors.

But we must realize that the KJV uses an English language that has changed a little. This is not the fault of the KJV. It is society's error. Many books written on the subject point out how much better 17th century English was.

I will give two examples of changed words:

1 Thessalonians 4:15  For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep.

Websters defines prevent as:

transitive verb

1 archaic

a : to be in readiness for (as an occasion)

b : to meet or satisfy in advance

c : to act ahead of

d : to go or arrive before

2  : to deprive of power or hope of acting or succeeding

3  : to keep from happening or existing prevent war>

4

: to hold or keep back : hinder, stop 

Most people don't even know the "archaic" definition. That was the definition in 1611.

Noah Webster's 1828 dictionary defines it as "To go before; to precede." That is the definition that matches the Greek word used in the original text.

Not knowing the proper definition changes the whole verse.

2 Thessalonians 2:7  For the mystery of iniquity doth already work: only he who now letteth will let, until he be taken out of the way.

Noah Webster 1828 says Let- "5. To retard; to hinder; to impede; to interpose obstructions."

Notice it is definition #5, but correctly matches the Greek in the verse and is true to the context of the passage. This verse better illustrates the changing of words, because Webster adds that this usage is nearly obsolete, only 200 years after the translating of the KJV.

Today we know this word to mean allow, but in 1611, it also meant to disallow or restrain.

There are others:

1.     advertise means tell (kinda obvious, but a little different)

2.     allege means prove  

3.     conversation means behavior or life 

And there are many more.

These in NO WAY take away from the authority of the King James Bible. It is OUR fault that our language has been degraded. Our college grads have nowhere near the vocabulary of young teens from even 200 years ago in our own country, much less when compared to someone from 17th Century England.

So, what of pride?

Webster's 1828 defines pride as:  Inordinate self-esteem; an unreasonable conceit of one's own superiority in talents, beauty, wealth, accomplishments, rank or elevation in office, which manifests itself in lofty airs, distance, reserve, and often in contempt of others.

It's first usage in the KJV is in Leviticus 26:19. It's meaning in the original text is "from 1342; the same as 1346:--arrogancy, excellency(-lent), majesty, pomp, pride, 

proud, swelling."

In subsequent usage, one word dominates the Strong's definitions of the original tongues: arrogance.

The modern webster dictionary defines pride as such:

1   : the quality or state of being proud: as

a : inordinate self-esteem : conceit

b : a reasonable or justifiable     self-respect

c : delight or elation arising from some act, possession, or relationship  (parental pride) 

2   : proud or disdainful behavior or treatment : disdain

3   a : ostentatious display

     b : highest pitch : prime

4   : a source of pride : the best in a group or class

5   : a company of lions

6   : a showy or impressive group

Similar to "prevent," pride has more meanings today than in 1828/1611. However, neither meaning is considered archaic.

Notice the two meanings I underlined and made bold.

When God says "Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall." (Proverbs 16:18) is he saying " a reasonable or justifiable self-respect" brings destruction? What is a "reasonable or justifiable self-respect?" This is what is meant when someone is declared to "take pride" in themselves, usually in their manner of grooming. An unshaven, filthy man who appears that way daily, regardless of whether he just worked, is said to take no pride in himself. So is God saying that having enough pride in one's self to shower daily will lead to destruction? I don't think so. That type of pride is reasonable and justifiable, and should be encouraged. 
It's similar to the carpenter telling his apprentice to take pride in his work. He's not saying "be lifted up and conceited" about your work. He's saying do a good job, have a little pride.

Let's look at the original text to see what God was referring to. The word translated as pride is:

ga'own gaw-ohn'

from 1342; the same as 1346:--arrogancy, excellency(-lent), majesty, pomp, pride,

proud, swelling.

This greek word appears twice in the KJV, not as "pride" but as "arrogancy."

While the modern word "pride" has both good and bad connotations, arrogance has only BAD connotations.

arrogance: an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions

Remember the lesson taught about the letter and spirit of the law in Matthew chapter five. Jesus kept giving the letter, but expanding it to the spirit of the law. So don't take the modern meaning as necessarily what God is saying. Which also means don't apply what God clearly means to all modern definitions.

The words God uses for pride are all of a bad connotation. But our English word "pride" has good connotations, as well as bad. 

If I say I am proud of my accomplishments, I am merely saying I am elated at the outcome. My testimony should already speak to others that I am grateful to God, but it also helps to add that. 

But which is more important: showing my thankfulness to God, or to man?

God knows my heart. He knows that I humbly acknowledge him as the source of all good in my life. Were he capable of forgetting it, I remind him daily.

I couldn't care less if someone is offended by me saying I have pride in my children. God knows that when I say that, I am not vaunting myself, or being arrogant. I am boasting, or glorying, in my child's accomplishments. 

If another Christian deems me to be arrogant for bragging on someone else, he is not only ignorant of the definition of pride, but is judging me with unrighteous judgment. that creates a problem between he and God, not me.

Every condemnation of pride in God's Word is interchangeable with the word arrogance. When God speaks against pride, he is speaking against arrogance, or hautiness. He is not speaking against every future meaning of the word pride. 

Why would God condemn a family of lions? That may sound silly, but so does applying God's condemnation of arrogancy to every modern usage of the word pride.

Take the following statement: I am proud of our nation and grateful to God that i was born in the USA.

Is that a contradiction? Pride and humility in the same sentence?

No contradiction exists. God is against arrogance, not pride in others. The true opposite of humility is arrogance, nor pride. Only some definitions of pride contradict humility, not every meaning.

I love my Noah Webster 1828, but it must be compared to newer dictionaries so we do not condemn practices which are pure, but use newer definitions.


Here is the absolute simplest illustration of meanings of words changing: In 1611, if a man built a wagon with all the latest gadgets installed, and his friend exclaimed, "That's bad!" upon first sight of the wagon, the builder would know he did something wrong. But in 1975 if another man made his Gran Torino look like the Starsky and Hutch car, and his friend exclaimed, "That's bad!" upon first sight of the car, the builder would know he did something right. Simple? Yes. Silly? Not really.
If we ran these two men together, and the 1975 man told the 1611 man that the wagon looked "groovy," the 1611 man would think he needed to sand the wood some more.
That is no different than a 2010 man thinking that every time his contemporary uses the word pride, he must be meaning arrogance, as the Bible does.


When I say "prevent" you can be assured that I mean "to stop" not to "go before." The exception is if I am quoting or describing I Thessalonians 4.

Glenn, or one of the soldiers, illustrated the difference between pride and arrogance in the following way: "Arrogance is pride without humility." I concur.

Ryan and Jessica's Wedding

Many know that last year my son, Ryan moved out on his own. Some know the circumstances, but I will not rehash the details.

He is getting married to Jessica King today. They met earlier this year.

Everyone will have their own opinion on this marriage. I have mine, as well.

Although he acts childish, and foolish, at times, Ryan is an adult, and is responsible for his own decision. He is fully aware that my desire is to see him get right, and return to his own God-directed goal of being a missionary. But that is between him and God.

Jessica is a great girl, and Tammy and I both like her. I think she will be a fine wife.

Regardless of what anyone thinks, now, after the "I Do's" this marriage becomes God's will for both of them.

It will be my honor to help them both make it a successful union.

I will not be there, but it's not in protest. We only learned of this about 11 days ago. I just spent a week at home for two days bereavement pay. I literally cannot afford anymore time off.

Some will still criticize me for that. To them I say, I must've missed the check you sent me to help pay my bills.

I wish Ryan and Jessica many happy years together. And of course, once they get on their feet, I expect some grandbabies to spoil.

New Things

Colossians 2:18  Let no man beguile you of your reward in a voluntary humility and worshipping of angels, intruding into those things which he hath not seen, vainly puffed up by his fleshly mind,


Paul is mainly dealing with Judaizers, here. But remember that the Bible is true on everything on which it speaks, so what Paul uses as red flags, or characteristics of Judaizers applies to other false teachers, and false teachings.

The word voluntary is applied to more than just the word humility. It simply implies that the false teacher is willingly doing what it is he's doing.

The angel worship was only to show their "false" humility. They pretended to believe that God was too great to be approached by man, so angels were used as mediators. Some, today, actually believe this, and write songs about it. Yet we know we can approach God boldly.

Hebrews 4:16  Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

Jacob's ladder was divine imagery God used to show Jacob that "prayers go up, blessings come down." I don't need to pray to an angel, or dead saint, to have God hear my prayers.

It's not a matter of pride to boldly approach the throne of grace, it's a simple right as a joint-heir with Christ.

The humility is shown to be false in the last phrase. They were proud of their teaching, and were smart enough to know that a false humility would help to acquire favor in the eyes of the new believers. I'm sure David Koresh had a very humble spirit as he deceived the people in Waco.

Paul warns about those who speak of things they know nothing of. "Let no man despise thy youth" is not a license to disregard the advice of those who have "been in the fight" a little longer than you. Some secular colleges will teach you that the new graduate is better in his field than the old hand, due to the knowledge being fresh and updated. That's not always true, even in the secular world. The old hand has seen action in the real world, and often has a better approach to a solution.

But in the realm of Christianity, there are no updates. Often a new graduate has spent the last few years obtaining knowledge, and is wanting more. He feels the need to impress someone with his ability to "interpret" scripture. He begins to read and learn from those that his previous teachers would disapprove of in order to find this "new thing" he wants to share.

Paul tried this in Acts 17. It didn't work too well for him. That's why you don't find Paul ever writing to a Church in Athens. I believe it was a learning experience. He did get some to believe. God's Word never returns void, but he never tried that approach again.

God made the gospel simple so that anyone could be saved, with or without the presence of college grad. But training is required for those who desire to preach the whole counsel of God, or work in a particular field of ministry.

The challenge for the learned is to understand that all they have learned comes from the Bible. Study aids are great, but everyone has a Bible.

I can try and use something I learned in Bible college to persuade someone of my belief on an issue, but as long as he has a Bible, I stand the chance to be embarrassed by his knowledge of God's Word. Especially if he actually reads his Bible more than I do. And unless you read it 24/7, there's always someone who might read it more. That is why my preface to this blog, and past emails, has always said that I make no claim of higher knowledge.

The best place to learn about God's Word is in a pew of a Bible-believing church, every time the Church doors are open. The Pastor, and those he brings in, are your best professors.

 So, if you are getting your thrice weekly lessons, and studying your Bible at home, you won't be so apt to fall for "new things."

Forgiveness

Why do we whine when criticized by our boss, then call in a complaint on the pizza delivery guy because he accidentally mashed the lid into our pizza?
Do we ever stop to think of the consequences it might cost him?
When I delivered for Steakout, I might have looked like a college age kid in a Jeep, but I had a wife and two kids to feed. The pizza guy might be in the same position.
Would you make that complaint if you knew he'd lose his job?
It reminds me of the parable beginning in Matthew 18:21 when Peter asks about forgiveness.
The servant is forgiven of a great debt to his lord, then went to his own debtor and demanded payment. When the debtor couldn't pay the very small debt, he cast him in prison.
When his lord heard what he did, he castigated him then sent him to be tortured.
Would we risk the pizza guy's job if it put ours in jeopardy as well?
I'm not saying we should be pansies, and let people walk on us. There are things that we cannot allow to happen.
But so often we deliver our own brand of justice with no consideration for what it brings on someone who just made a mistake.
We hold back tips, call in complaints, leave bad comment cards, go on the internet and post nasty comments, and the list goes on.
Why not simply turn the other cheek?
We often think of being slapped when we hear that, but it applies elsewhere, too.
So the waitress is a little crabby and let your cup get empty. Try this: leave her a huge tip and a note saying we all have those days and you hope this helps hers get better. Her next table might owe you a great debt.
I don't believe in karma, but God does say we reap what we sow.
What will you sow today?
Justice? or Mercy?

I am thankful that God chose mercy in my life. You see, I cost him the life of his Son.
Justice would be an eternity in hell (yes, it's real).
Mercy would be forgiveness.
But God went a step farther and showed me Grace.

Grace was sending his own begotten son to Calvary to die for MY sin, and yours.

Grace brought death to Christ and sent him to the grave.

Then Grace ressurected the Saviour of mankind, giving me, and you, promise of the same ressurection if we simply believe in what you just read.

Grace makes me a joint-heir with Christ. That means I share all with the one who died due to MY sins.
That's Grace.

God gave all he had just to show me forgiveness. I only wish I would show it more often.

Family News

Tammy's Father passed away on 9/28.

He was a veteran of both WWII and Korea. He spent his life working for the railroad.

He was absent from nearly all of her childhood due mostly to his own wanderings. She was able to get in touch with him in 1998. We've been able to visit him several times since then.
Tammy led him to the Lord in 2000.

There are many half-siblings who have never met Tammy. Some might not want to because her mother was "the other woman" in their eyes. This may be Tammy's only chance to meet them.

He has already been cremated, and the memorial service is on 10/28 in northern Missouri.

Please pray that doors be opened for Tammy to start a dialogue with here siblings and possibly witness to them.

Also pray for our finances. We weren't ready for Christmas, much less for this emergency.
The easiest thing to pray for on the finances is that the next few weeks at work be above and beyond the average weeks.
We have a gas card with Shell, so we can pay off the gas later, but with no other credit cards, we will have three days of fast food, and two nights in a motel to pay for out of pocket.
So please pray that work picks up.

God is faithful. He got Tammy back in touch with her father so she could lead him to the Lord. I know he'll work through this, too.

How to Win Friends and Influence People, Biblically

Galatians 6:10 As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.

I might have written on this topic before, but I was thinking about it again recently.

Dale Carnegie listed these six ways to making friends:

Six Ways to Make People Like You

1. Become genuinely interested in other people.

2. Smile.

3. Remember that a man's Name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

5. Talk in the terms of the other man's interest.

6. Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely.

God's version is not all that different. I know nothing about Mr Carnegie, so it isn't too much of a stretch to wonder if he was well acquainted with Galatians chapter six.

Galatians 6:1 Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.

2 Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.

3 For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself.

4 But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another.

5 For every man shall bear his own burden.

6 Let him that is taught in the word communicate unto him that teacheth in all good things.

7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

8 For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.

9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

10 As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.

I'm gonna allow you to make most of the comparisons. I just want to dwell on the scripture.

This passage contains too many good nuggets for an easy summary, but it's basically the "Golden Rule" expounded. As many have said, we are not an island to ourselves. Everything we do touches somebody.

I used to always be the one who had to "one-up" every story I heard. I have always lived a very simple life and when I heard the exciting stories others told, I felt I had to make my life just as interesting. I thought that by making my life sound interesting I could gain their respect and friendship. Looking back, I wonder how many friends I drove away due to my stories that were sometimes out-right lies. I had also picked up a good bit of sarcasm while I was in the Army. We always made jokes about each other.

People like using verses 7-9, but often never mention verse 10. NEVER miss a "therefore" in your Bible reading. Whenever you see a therefore or wherefore, even at the beginning of a chapter, see what it is tying together.

Why are we to do good unto all men? Because of what verses 7-9 say. I am not excluding these verses from other applications. I just think it would be sad to miss the direct usage. Dale Carnegie was onto something.

During the first week at a new job years ago a few coworkers mentioned how I resembled a former coworker of theirs. Then they began to talk about why they didn't like that person. They used the word "abrasive" to describe his sarcasm and talked about how much he liked to talk about himself. Turns out he didn't just "look" like me, he acted like me.

I learned quickly to keep my mouth shut and saw the fruits immediately. Not only did my coworkers like me, but management saw it, too. I was recommended by my foreman to be a foreman in another department ahead of a lot of people. I didn't get the position, but the recommendation taught me a lesson.

If I treated others as I wanted to be treated, they returned the favor.

Luke 6:31 And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.

As my Pastor has said many times. The Bible is absolutely right on every subject it discusses. Even about human personal relations.

So what about the person who seems to not be playing by the rules? You know the one. You go out of your way to be nice to them and they are still just plain crabby. Well, first off, you should still obey Jesus. I don't see him qualifying his command by adding "only if they are nice back."

You have to go back to Galatians 6:7-9. We often use verse nine when talking about disciplining our children, and that is fine. But again, use it in context, also.

I've not perfected Mr. Carnegie's or God's plan. But using what humility I can muster has been very successful. I have found that I learn a lot listening to people. At first I may feign interest for their sake, but then I actually do become interested. I have also learned that after spending a while talking about themselves, others usually show interest in my life as well.

On a side note- I have discovered that my lack of an exciting life makes them feel even more special when they see how interested I am to hear about their more eventful lives.

I know nothing bad about Dale Carnegie other than what I had read on wikipedia. He did seem to know what he was talking about.

Look for opportunities to help others. Sometimes it is monetary, often it is not. It can be as simple as asking them how they are doing, and then stopping to listen.

Sin should be judged, but often we criticize others for not being mirror images of ourselves.

Sarcasm has its place, but use it carefully.

Remember that Jesus says that what we do to the least among us, we do unto Him.

Galatians 6:10 As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.

Now for a list of things I need... Just kidding!

Getting Old

Psalms 71:18 Now also when I am old and grayheaded, O God, forsake me not; until I have shewed thy strength unto this generation, and thy power to every one that is to come.

My oldest Daughter turns eighteen today.

Alisha Marie Hopper 1999

I look at old pictures and wonder where the years went. I also wonder if I've given her the skills she will need to survive outside the doors of my house. Not just the regular things, like cleaning, cooking, raising children. But how will she follow God?

My prayer is to continue training her until I give her hand in marriage, and she becomes one with the man God has chosen for her.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

We can debate all day on the exact application of the last statement, but I see the first statement as a command.

She still has a few years left in high school. I will never regret the year we had to hold her back. It not only allowed her to catch up in school, but it adds years for us with her at home.

We already pray for her future mate to be a Godly young man, and for God to lead him to Alisha in God's time.

She will always be my little Cookie. I gave her the name the first time I saw her devouring cookie after cookie. At first I called her Cookie Monster, but later shortened it to Cookie.

Metropolis, IL 2010

9/11 and my Mawmaw

Yes, I realize a blog about 9/11 is a little past due. Sue me.

9/11 was a little different for me this year. It was my grandmother's birthday, and the first one since her passing last year, two days before Christmas.

My mother mentioned how hard it is going through a year of "firsts." First Christmas without her, followed by the funeral a few days later. First Mother's Day. First birthday.

We know the next big day will be the anniversary of her passing. I will try to be there for my mother, but I don't know what to say. I barely cried at the funeral, even though my aunts and cousins were sobbing near me, or on me. I hope none of them thought I was just being callous.

You see, my Mawmaw's life said, "Saved, saved, saved!" when I dropped out of church at age 17, she lovingly shamed me for refusing to go to church with my Dad.

When her Alzheimer's got worse, I kept praying that in her mind, somewhere, she was dreaming of walking Heaven's shore with my Pawpaw. I kept hoping that behind that empty smile, she was holding hands with her Saviour, and he was saying, "I'll always be here for you, Vernell."

Last time I saw Mamaw, 7/11/09

I know that's what she's doing now. I knew that at the funeral, while everybody else was crying. I knew she was looking down begging us not to be sad.

I don't think ill of those who were sad. As strong as we try to be, we are still human. I could have opened the floodgates of tears at any moment. I'm a crier. I'm not ashamed of that. Get me talking about what God did for me, and I tear up just thinking of His Grace. I cry often thinking how I miss my daddy. I cry watching movies so much that my kids will recognize a sad part, and start watching me for tears. And not just at sad things. I cry during the "touching" scenes where everyone is happy, but emotional.

Knowing how easy it is for me to cry, crying at her funeral would only be ordinary. I wanted to show my children that the Bible is true when it says that we don't sorrow as others.

1 Thessalonians 4:13 But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope.

I purposed in my heart that I would be strong. The way I saw it, if I really believed she was with Jesus, then why would I cry? I shed very few tears that day. When my brother preached the ceremony, I got to smile a lot, remembering the strong lady I called Mawmaw.

But I finally succumbed to tears. Not later that day. Not later that week. But just a few months ago. (you can laugh at me, here) We were watching "Driving Miss Daisy" when one of the kids remarked how, at the end in the nursing home scene, she looked like Mawmaw. It didn't hit me right away, but as the scene progressed, and the Alzheimer's was more evident, I started missing my Mawmaw. I broke down, right in front of my wife and children.

Did I ruin what I had established at the funeral? I don't think so. Read the verse again. It doesn't say we are simply to have no sorrow. It says we do not sorrow as those with no hope. You see, there were those at the funeral with no hope. There were many there who will never see Mawmaw again, unless they get saved. They should be sobbing. Their feet are walking in sulfur. They are headed to a Hell beyond their own comprehension. They sorrow because even if they have a head knowledge of God, they don't have that indwelling Spirit to soothe their crying. They don't really know what to believe, and what not to believe.

I wasn't crying for my Mawmaw. I was just missing her. I think that's OK.

So, on 9/11/2010, Mawmaw's first birthday with Jesus, I spent the day driving, listening to news about 9/11, and replays of broadcasts from that day. I was worked up a little at how soon after 9/11 America gave up on the brotherhood we learned on that day. I heard relatives read the name of their loved ones who died on that day. And amongst all the ceremony and remembrances, I just simply spent the day missing my Mawmaw.

9/11/2001 changed our world. 9/11/2010 changed 9/11 for me, forever.

Mawmaw, you meant the world to me. I am the man I am today due to your Godly influence. I know where you are, and I know I will see you again. But I do miss you.

She was singing Amazing Grace

No sermon here. Just a few thoughts about my Mawmaw and her birthday.